m e

I mean, this whole webpage is basically a self-indulgent adventure in satire, but I'm still a person, dammit!

t r a v e l s

to be honest, this tab is more for me than you.  my memory is TERRIBLE.

t h e   g o o d e s t   d o g e s

my dogs' mother was a horny bitch. i have 2 from the same litter but they have different fathers! click da pic to see the freaks.

s q u a d

it's story time: i have the bestest friends.  been knowing most for almost 30 years!  these are the people that keep me going. we laugh. we travel. we throw epic black light parties. we cry during romcoms. we do it all. i am truly lucky to know all of the faces on the next page.

f r e e   t i m e   h o g s

"hobbies" sounded lame. this isn't an online dating profile (or is it?)